Our lips unlock. He stopped to tell me how soft my lips were. When I first met him online in late July, I didn’t think I would be sitting next to him in early September, let alone kissing him. But I was. I also didn’t think we would stop talking a couple weeks after that. We have a small talk once in October about the change in weather. And then nothing. Maybe the season was a reflection of us. We talk politics in November. How a mess the world is. And then nothing. I am to blame for getting ahead of myself, for thinking a boy likes me because he called everyday that summer or because he kissed my forehead and held back my hair. For letting his honey-sweet words mislead me. In December, I lose my fear of letting go. It’s okay, I tell myself. It’s okay to lose touch. It’s okay to never feel his warm skin against my trembling fingers again. But he keeps coming back. It’s cold outside and I’m too tired.
Manar is a 20 year old Middle Eastern girl based in Saudi Arabia and Canada. You can find her on instagram.