issue 14: jan 2017, Poetry
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Verses of the Relapse by Zoe Thompson

I try to heal, from time to time,
shedding the weight of empty feelings
that ruthlessly cling onto my skin
during my quest for self-fulfilment.
But we are not perfect, human beings;
sometimes the healing will lose.
But that’s okay,
just play along with me now,
while I healthily sing out my blues.


I’m going to the down-low now.
It’s a metaphorical place that I sneak off to;
A place that grants me my wishes for invisibility.
It’s an ironic space as I am visible,
but my presence is unfelt,
and I operate quietly,
crying for attention as I do so.
I go because I feel that I am merely a stick figure in the midst of all this,
straining my heart to belong
only for it to shatter into pieces,
glimmering like the crystals they once were
before deteriorating back into
the rotten soil that is my soul.
I go to the down-low every now and then,
shutting down the displays,
closing up shop,
for a while,
for however long.


What was yesterday’s mess?
The turbulent oceans within my soul that failed to keep my emotions far out at sea.
It had been building up for a while,
futile thought after futile thought, a pile,
weighing down on the empty parts of my brain until the irrelevance became irrelevant,
until I felt like the speck I really am.
I prepared yesterday’s mess in a strategic and orderly manner,
writing “don’t forget” on my hand but I couldn’t stand
the way I constantly avoided the foreseen feelings of regret.
I conducted yesterday’s mess like the robot I usually was:
not thinking, too preoccupied with the anger to acknowledge that all of this pain was self-inflicted.
When the mess was over,
I slept to wash away the blue fatigue
that drenched the air around me.
Then I awoke,
and I showered, staring at myself in amazement,
my mind uncanny but now at rest,
washing away the discomfort of that day’s mess.


Zoe Thompson is passionate about creating things. She love, love, loves writing and wants to pursue it in the future, despite how “competitive” it is. Her favourite thing about life is laughing. If she could spend the rest of my life somewhere, She’d spend it at the theatre. She loves thrift shopping and just general vintage shopping, even though she has like, 0 money. 

You can find her on instagram, tumblr, and her blog.

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