I often wake up
weighed down by the feeling that negative forces
conspire against me,
against the wishes of my heart,
against those I keep in my heart.
I often worry for the safety of those I love.
I am afraid of being left in this world,
I am blanketed by the fear that I haven’t done enough;
haven’t called enough,
didn’t hug long enough.
I am afraid that I may not be enough.
I feel as though one day
I will open the doors of my heart to someone
and they will say ‘it’s just not right.
your skin is too soft and it’s too dark in here.’
I dread the day someone leaves me only with a note
‘you make a lovely home
but it just isn’t right for me.’
I fear that I will look in the mirror one day
and notice that I just don’t feel right.
That nothing feels right.
Naomi Sepiso is a 17 y/o Kenyan/Zambian immigrant living in Australia. She mainly reflects on the journeys taken by many POC youth and their predecessors. You can find Naomi on her tumblr and her instagram.
Illustration by R Creatives.